Editorials
Florida, Voter Fraud Again
By Solon
Dec 23, 2001, 1:56pm

Dog Owner Escapes Voter Fraud Charges
(or Florida Going to the Dogs!)

A woman who registered her pet poodle to vote is no longer facing felony voter fraud charges.

(Maybe this should be a lesson for those who tamper with the voting process. Watch out Kathleen and Jeb, you could be prosecuted, too. Or maybe not in Florida where voter fraud is considered a hobby.)

Prosecutors agreed not to charge Wendy Albert on the condition that she stay out of trouble for the next year.

(Might need every vote for the Republican party if anything gets done about changing the system to actually record what the voter intends to vote.)

The third-degree felony carries a maximum five-year prison term and a $5, 000 fine. Paul Zaks, chief assistant state attorney, said the punishment seemed " a little extreme".

(What happened to Extremism in Defense of Liberty? I thought that voting was an important issue which defined your citizenship, at least that's what they say before the elections.)

Albert's address was on a card registering "Cocoa Fernandez", the poodle, as a Republican.

(This presumed cognizant citizen, most likely Republican party affiliated, used her own address, insulted and slurred both Cocoa Beach and people of Spanish descent, and made a fashion statement that poodles were Republicans. I guess a mutt would have to be registered as a Democrat.)

Cocoa got on the voter rolls July 11.

(It would seem that the heat in Florida in July may have affected the process. Was Ms. Albert carrying the poodle when she stopped at one of those card table registration booths outside the supermarket? Did she turn to the poodle and ask Cocoa to declare her affiliation or did the poodle bark once at Republican, snarl at Democrat and whimper at Independent?

Supervisor of Elections, Theresa LePore sent the registration card to prosecutors.

(How was this crime discovered? Was it a routine search for dogs on the voter rolls? Did the alleged felon give herself away by some unconscious act like remarking to someone that her dogs had always voted Republican.)

Albert, 63, had to write a letter of apology to LePore as part of her punishment.

(Woof. Woof Woof Woof. Woof Woof Woof. Woof.)

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