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Editorials

Bush Reclaims Powers After Colonoscopy, or Does He?
By Solon
Jul 21, 2007, 12:15pm

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CAMP DAVID, Md.: The transfer of power took place with letters Bush sent to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., and Sen. Robert Byrd, D-W.Va., president pro tempore of the Senate. Bush reclaimed the powers at 9:21 a.m. EDT with follow-up letters once the colonoscopy had ended.

At the same time The President called Cheney at his home after the procedure and here is an unverified transcript of the conversation.

Bush: Dick, it's over and I'm back!

Cheney: You're back to what?

B: You know - I'm back in power after that thing with my ass!

C: Oh yeah, I forgot about that but while you're on the phone I've been thinking that maybe you need a longer time away. The polls are way down!

B: But that's not what we agreed to - remember - you only get the power for a couple of hours!

C: Well bullshit - I've changed my mind.

B: Hey that's not fair - you can't change your mind. That's like what Gore did after the election.

C: Yeah but we fucked him good and now it's your turn.

B: Now Dick, have you been drinking again - you remember the last time you got drunk and shot that poor old man you were hunting with.

C: Fuck him, too. I'm sick of this shit. You being the president. It's taking me too long to get anything done - having to go through your staff. Bunch of toadies.

B: But Dick you picked most of them! And besides I'm the president. And Dad wouldn't like you doing this. After all we've been through.

C: Suck it up kid - it's time to get serious and you don't have the balls. And by the way I'm still waiting for us to bomb Iran. What happened to that?

B: Dick you know it takes time to start another war. And those pricks in congress are getting close to where the bodies are buried.

C: Yeah, well there's nothing like a new war to get that shit off the front pages. And I'm get tired of lame excuses. In fact I'm getting tired of you.

B: Don't be that way. I'm taking the medication and smiling at everything and diverting attention with my sunny disposition. That counts for something.

C: Doesn't mean a thing if you can't get done what I told you to do.

B: I did pardon Libby. And that takes the heat off his threats! And while we're on the subject you could have done more with than just your stupid incantations and sacrificing those chickens. It's taking the Secret service a lot of time to keep that from your neighbors. How many barbecues can you have in the middle of the night?

C: Tough shit - that's kept us from impeachment - that and wimpy democrats.

B: OK OK I'm just saying we've got to stick together here or we're going down and even Karl won't be able to stop it.

C: Yeah well I don't like it - what good is power if we can't fuck somebody new once in a while?

B: Shit Dick - got to go - just got a text message from the Secret Service that Laura is on the way and I've got to get the sheep out of the family quarters.
You think some more on this and I'll work on bombing Iran!
Maybe get Israel to do it!
Talk later!
Not those pills ass hole - the purple ones!

End of transcript!

(Ed Note: What the hell - this stuff has got to be destroyed!)

###

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